5 Ways My ADHD Makes Adulting Hard
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Ascended
This is me. Diagnosed and medicated. Currently having a bad ADHD day. Very easy to spiral into a pit of frustration toward yourself. The diagnosis was a blessing and a curse, because now that it has a name, everything that happens feels like its because my brain is this way. Feels like Im in an endless loop of just trying to function, whereas everyone else is just doing it automatically. It seems like everything neurotypical people can do - normal everyday things - take tremendous effort for me. Hell, even eating and sleeping. I tell people to imagine what itd be like if blinking wasnt automatic, like if you had to consciously and constantly remember to blink in regular intervals - how exhausting thatd be for you by the end of the day coupled with all of your other responsibilities. You know what needs to be done, but your dopamine-deprived brain wont allow it. It often feels as if youre existing in a world that you werent designed for. You mask it to keep your job, the life you built but wasnt prepared for, and struggle to find normalcy. And to make matters worse, it is seemingly invisible to everyone, but you. Even people you tell - they cant know the full extent and will still expect you to perform as they do. You wouldnt ask someone in a wheelchair to use stairs, but only because its obvious that they cant. To the uneducated, most of ADHDs symptoms sound like youre making excuses or that if you try hard enough you can overcome it, but they fail to understand the brain chemistry. That its just how your brain is built. Its you. You have to find workarounds, because the path everyone else walks, you werent given the boots for.
Just burnt out.
Tired of the meds, the comorbidity with anxiety and depression, the inability to form routines without pin-point, Herculean effort, the constant research and trial and error to find what works. It really is a double-edged super power. Some days you feel like the sturdy, oh-so-solid hammer. But, many days you feel like the fragile nail.
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This is me. Diagnosed and medicated. Currently having a bad ADHD day. Very easy to spiral into a pit of frustration toward yourself. The diagnosis was a blessing and a curse, because now that it has a name, everything that happens feels like its because my brain is this way. Feels like Im in an endless loop of just trying to function, whereas everyone else is just doing it automatically. It seems like everything neurotypical people can do - normal everyday things - take tremendous effort for me. Hell, even eating and sleeping. I tell people to imagine what itd be like if blinking wasnt automatic, like if you had to consciously and constantly remember to blink in regular intervals - how exhausting thatd be for you by the end of the day coupled with all of your other responsibilities. You know what needs to be done, but your dopamine-deprived brain wont allow it. It often feels as if youre existing in a world that you werent designed for. You mask it to keep your job, the life you built but wasnt prepared for, and struggle to find normalcy. And to make matters worse, it is seemingly invisible to everyone, but you. Even people you tell - they cant know the full extent and will still expect you to perform as they do. You wouldnt ask someone in a wheelchair to use stairs, but only because its obvious that they cant. To the uneducated, most of ADHDs symptoms sound like youre making excuses or that if you try hard enough you can overcome it, but they fail to understand the brain chemistry. That its just how your brain is built. Its you. You have to find workarounds, because the path everyone else walks, you werent given the boots for.
Just burnt out.
Tired of the meds, the comorbidity with anxiety and depression, the inability to form routines without pin-point, Herculean effort, the constant research and trial and error to find what works. It really is a double-edged super power. Some days you feel like the sturdy, oh-so-solid hammer. But, many days you feel like the fragile nail.
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Hasuku
I feel as if my ADD/ADHD has only gotten worse as I've aged. As a child it was mostly hyperactiveness and short attention span. But as I'm 30 now I feel as if it has completely taken over my life. And I can't seem to not feel completely hindered by it. This last year I've gotten medication and, while I feel like I've generally been in a better mind space. I still feel as though it doesn't really address any of my problems. I feel as though I can't do any tasks well. Because I'll either forget, convince myself I'm going to fail and hinder others, or won't be able to convince myself to actually do that task. I also feel as though I can't be in a relationship because I'll just be a burden on my significant other.
I can't convince myself to even do activities that I love, like hiking, camping, video games, etc. While work and better eating has kept my body in better shape my mental fortitude is just a mess.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, just needed to vent to strangers because I can't vent to family and friends.
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I feel as if my ADD/ADHD has only gotten worse as I've aged. As a child it was mostly hyperactiveness and short attention span. But as I'm 30 now I feel as if it has completely taken over my life. And I can't seem to not feel completely hindered by it. This last year I've gotten medication and, while I feel like I've generally been in a better mind space. I still feel as though it doesn't really address any of my problems. I feel as though I can't do any tasks well. Because I'll either forget, convince myself I'm going to fail and hinder others, or won't be able to convince myself to actually do that task. I also feel as though I can't be in a relationship because I'll just be a burden on my significant other.
I can't convince myself to even do activities that I love, like hiking, camping, video games, etc. While work and better eating has kept my body in better shape my mental fortitude is just a mess.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, just needed to vent to strangers because I can't vent to family and friends.
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Debora
I literelly cried watching this, that's exactly how I feel and how I've always felt! I work home office and it's exhausting to be able to just start working! I always struggled with organization and my parents always called me lazy when I was a kid and I really thought that was my problem, I always asked myself why am I so lazy. I feel overwhelmed all the time! I never thought I could have ADHD, cause I didn't have much problems at school when I was a kid. I was a quiet kid, always reading my books. But I was always daydreaming and having troubles to memorize things like multiplication table and capitals. Even so I did well at school, had good grades. But now as an adult things seem to get even harder with work, college, social life, etc. At least it's a relief to start understanding how my brain works. Thank you so much for this video!
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I literelly cried watching this, that's exactly how I feel and how I've always felt! I work home office and it's exhausting to be able to just start working! I always struggled with organization and my parents always called me lazy when I was a kid and I really thought that was my problem, I always asked myself why am I so lazy. I feel overwhelmed all the time! I never thought I could have ADHD, cause I didn't have much problems at school when I was a kid. I was a quiet kid, always reading my books. But I was always daydreaming and having troubles to memorize things like multiplication table and capitals. Even so I did well at school, had good grades. But now as an adult things seem to get even harder with work, college, social life, etc. At least it's a relief to start understanding how my brain works. Thank you so much for this video!
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Jeshield
Once I got diagnosed, my Doctor gave me meds to help. And honestly its not a magic pill Im still disorganized but I can function with one thing at a time. And my working memory is much better. I can finally do basic things like chores and work on things that I find boring. For the longest time I struggled with a lot of things and I couldnt deal with how overwhelming things were so I was always tired of thinking and having so much thoughts. But at least now I have a tools to help me and Im less tired but I hope to accept my symptoms and embrace them someday and make it work but its hard to function as an adult I hope this year I can finally give everyone their gifts and have more a neat room. I feel honestly bad sometimes cause not everyone functions like me
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Once I got diagnosed, my Doctor gave me meds to help. And honestly its not a magic pill Im still disorganized but I can function with one thing at a time. And my working memory is much better. I can finally do basic things like chores and work on things that I find boring. For the longest time I struggled with a lot of things and I couldnt deal with how overwhelming things were so I was always tired of thinking and having so much thoughts. But at least now I have a tools to help me and Im less tired but I hope to accept my symptoms and embrace them someday and make it work but its hard to function as an adult I hope this year I can finally give everyone their gifts and have more a neat room. I feel honestly bad sometimes cause not everyone functions like me
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Faceless
It's so impressive, we all with ADHD have the same mood, we're so similar, the same struggling, same time problems, we are so blind to time that we didn't realize how much the time just fly away, right in front of us, and all the people around us, just don't understand why we are like that. Oh, and I can't forget we're so perfectionist with our tasks, that we can get upset by the minimum thing wrong, we do while doing something easy for us, then we just leave and never come back to it again, of course when that's not our hiper-focus thing, and that's not even us, it's just how our brains work. (Attention be kind, I'm not a native english speaker, I don't know much about grammar)
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It's so impressive, we all with ADHD have the same mood, we're so similar, the same struggling, same time problems, we are so blind to time that we didn't realize how much the time just fly away, right in front of us, and all the people around us, just don't understand why we are like that. Oh, and I can't forget we're so perfectionist with our tasks, that we can get upset by the minimum thing wrong, we do while doing something easy for us, then we just leave and never come back to it again, of course when that's not our hiper-focus thing, and that's not even us, it's just how our brains work. (Attention be kind, I'm not a native english speaker, I don't know much about grammar)
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I_kissed_a_pixie
Ive never felt like ice fitted in. I seem to survive life but how sure how. I dont really understand who I am, why Im doing or why Im doing it. I was wrongly told I had depression, then BPD then Bipolar, but at age 41 and some hindsight thats not what Ive had, its been ADHD. My whole life from memory has been difficult, I find I have good months sometimes and then Im back into the quagmire. Im not depressed, I dont feel low today, nothing is wrong with me, so why the hell cant I organise myself to shower, dress and go out with my dog? Im so glad he is happy to sit around with me x
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Ive never felt like ice fitted in. I seem to survive life but how sure how. I dont really understand who I am, why Im doing or why Im doing it. I was wrongly told I had depression, then BPD then Bipolar, but at age 41 and some hindsight thats not what Ive had, its been ADHD. My whole life from memory has been difficult, I find I have good months sometimes and then Im back into the quagmire. Im not depressed, I dont feel low today, nothing is wrong with me, so why the hell cant I organise myself to shower, dress and go out with my dog? Im so glad he is happy to sit around with me x
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CallMe_Senpie
Who this actually helped me a lot I was told recently not so recently that I am borderline and they have me taking ADHD medicine and I thought it was crazy because all of the people Ive known that had it were boys and never really knew anyone that was female that had it and I was like I am not like them at all how but Ive heard recently about theres a difference in how it works for women didnt really know if that was true, but this video has helped me come to terms with it and understand
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Who this actually helped me a lot I was told recently not so recently that I am borderline and they have me taking ADHD medicine and I thought it was crazy because all of the people Ive known that had it were boys and never really knew anyone that was female that had it and I was like I am not like them at all how but Ive heard recently about theres a difference in how it works for women didnt really know if that was true, but this video has helped me come to terms with it and understand
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Victoria
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult; Im in therapy but Im not taking the medicine, because is a shortage of this type of medication in the country due to the war and a lot of people with this disorder. Im organized, because if not I never find my stuff; as an adult I had the suspicion that I have this problem, because I read about it, then my psychologist and my psychiatrist confirm it.
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I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult; Im in therapy but Im not taking the medicine, because is a shortage of this type of medication in the country due to the war and a lot of people with this disorder. Im organized, because if not I never find my stuff; as an adult I had the suspicion that I have this problem, because I read about it, then my psychologist and my psychiatrist confirm it.
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Ken
Ya it's hard when you struggle with it on your own. Finally being diagnosed has answered a lot of stuff. So now I have learned tools that have helped me take back control of my life. Still hard to organize my thoughts without medication and the public still thinks I am a odd ball. Yet I found peace in my diagnosis because now I know what to research to help me in my life.
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Ya it's hard when you struggle with it on your own. Finally being diagnosed has answered a lot of stuff. So now I have learned tools that have helped me take back control of my life. Still hard to organize my thoughts without medication and the public still thinks I am a odd ball. Yet I found peace in my diagnosis because now I know what to research to help me in my life.
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RuneZUNN
As someone who has a similar variation of ADHD (inattentive, I can relate to this especially since I was diagnosed with this since I was a kid. This is why I have a calendar and other things to remind me when stuff needs to be done because I would either forget or slack off (procrastinate.
It's a challenge to understand / improve on adulting but not impossible.
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As someone who has a similar variation of ADHD (inattentive, I can relate to this especially since I was diagnosed with this since I was a kid. This is why I have a calendar and other things to remind me when stuff needs to be done because I would either forget or slack off (procrastinate.
It's a challenge to understand / improve on adulting but not impossible.
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Dom
My doctor was completely useless in understanding my symptoms. So I changed him out and now have a compassionate full spectrum team that seemingly cares about my health. Not all gps are equal. Theres always a possibility that the symptoms are just anxiety. Having a psychiatrist diagnosis is the best way forward. Online counselling like talk with Frida may help.
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My doctor was completely useless in understanding my symptoms. So I changed him out and now have a compassionate full spectrum team that seemingly cares about my health. Not all gps are equal. Theres always a possibility that the symptoms are just anxiety. Having a psychiatrist diagnosis is the best way forward. Online counselling like talk with Frida may help.
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Xenphier
The similarities from your experiences are almost identical to my own. I finally decided to get help from my Dr. last week. I watched this video when it came out, it was the clarity that needed to acknowledge my own ADHD and that I needed help. I want to thank you for all that you do. Mental health is so important.
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The similarities from your experiences are almost identical to my own. I finally decided to get help from my Dr. last week. I watched this video when it came out, it was the clarity that needed to acknowledge my own ADHD and that I needed help. I want to thank you for all that you do. Mental health is so important.
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Andreea
I do understand the idea as I do many things the same way, and I'm harsh to myself, but I see victimization too. If you become partly aware of them, you can help yourself to leave this circle. I think if you keep this etiquette you are overprotective and to be a big child when you're a young adult, doesn't feel cool
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I do understand the idea as I do many things the same way, and I'm harsh to myself, but I see victimization too. If you become partly aware of them, you can help yourself to leave this circle. I think if you keep this etiquette you are overprotective and to be a big child when you're a young adult, doesn't feel cool
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Ypsilanti
I'm still learning to deal with those five symptoms, the disorder and disorganization has turned into hyperfocus on organization. Which makes me more focused on the other 4 symptoms. Rsd doesn't seem like it affects me that hard. I just forgot about the past and using schedule tools.
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I'm still learning to deal with those five symptoms, the disorder and disorganization has turned into hyperfocus on organization. Which makes me more focused on the other 4 symptoms. Rsd doesn't seem like it affects me that hard. I just forgot about the past and using schedule tools.
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Ms
You forgot to mention that people with ADHD die quite young. People with ADHD die about 20 years younger than neurotypicals. It's usually due to unnatural causes such as accidents, as crime victims, or due to lifestyle issues (addictions, obesity, domestic violence, etc.
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You forgot to mention that people with ADHD die quite young. People with ADHD die about 20 years younger than neurotypicals. It's usually due to unnatural causes such as accidents, as crime victims, or due to lifestyle issues (addictions, obesity, domestic violence, etc.
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Kasonde
So I tried telling my mom about ADHD today. She actually laughed at me and didn't really hear me out, I felt so embarrassed and silly for telling her.
I'm hoping when I move out of my parents house I can get therapy and truly find out what's wrong with me.
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So I tried telling my mom about ADHD today. She actually laughed at me and didn't really hear me out, I felt so embarrassed and silly for telling her.
I'm hoping when I move out of my parents house I can get therapy and truly find out what's wrong with me.
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Auzril
Wow, I'm autistic and was only looking this up for a friend who we suspect has ADHD, but now I am not only certain he has ADHD, but I also start to suspect I have it too and it's not just my autism that makes my everyday life so unbearably difficult.
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Wow, I'm autistic and was only looking this up for a friend who we suspect has ADHD, but now I am not only certain he has ADHD, but I also start to suspect I have it too and it's not just my autism that makes my everyday life so unbearably difficult.
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thea
I have ADHD and its really hard to deal it everyday i feel lazy all the time because I'm lying on my bed all day i did nothing and i feel different from others because not like them they can fucus easily on something while me stuck in different world
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I have ADHD and its really hard to deal it everyday i feel lazy all the time because I'm lying on my bed all day i did nothing and i feel different from others because not like them they can fucus easily on something while me stuck in different world
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AI
I love the art and this is very much relatable! The scheduling and so on help but I still feel inadequate when I miss things or cannot get things done a specific way. They just attribute it to me being a deficient adult.
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I love the art and this is very much relatable! The scheduling and so on help but I still feel inadequate when I miss things or cannot get things done a specific way. They just attribute it to me being a deficient adult.
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James
P S researchers went to hunter gatherer societies in S America and found that ADHD types were the best hunters. I always thought it must be some archaic leftover, a legit reason intuitive as hell, too. Nice job
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P S researchers went to hunter gatherer societies in S America and found that ADHD types were the best hunters. I always thought it must be some archaic leftover, a legit reason intuitive as hell, too. Nice job
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education
Diagnosed adhd at 7, and bi-polar disorder at 14. I'm 32 now, and medicated but still struggling with it. Videos like these make me feel like I'm not worthless, like I'm not alone. Thank you
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Diagnosed adhd at 7, and bi-polar disorder at 14. I'm 32 now, and medicated but still struggling with it. Videos like these make me feel like I'm not worthless, like I'm not alone. Thank you
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Zac
Hah this is me, ADHD for life. No meds but have really worked on discipline as the path to keep me dialled in, with a sprinkler of compassion for meself when it inevitably all falls off the rails.
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Hah this is me, ADHD for life. No meds but have really worked on discipline as the path to keep me dialled in, with a sprinkler of compassion for meself when it inevitably all falls off the rails.
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Twizee
i dont like self diagnosing but i relate to every single one of these and i get more worried now as im 18, i always blame it on other things because my mom says i dont and idk how to explain it
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i dont like self diagnosing but i relate to every single one of these and i get more worried now as im 18, i always blame it on other things because my mom says i dont and idk how to explain it
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Trouble
I was diagnosed as a kid. However, my adhd was the worse as a new adult. I had trouble with advancing my career and I was rather emotional. Now in my 30s, Im able to handle life better
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I was diagnosed as a kid. However, my adhd was the worse as a new adult. I had trouble with advancing my career and I was rather emotional. Now in my 30s, Im able to handle life better
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star
I have always had what I call mental seasons. I start doing well at things, and feel like I'm getting the hang of life. Then I hit the wall and what I excelled at is hard again.
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I have always had what I call mental seasons. I start doing well at things, and feel like I'm getting the hang of life. Then I hit the wall and what I excelled at is hard again.
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