7 Signs It's Social Anxiety, Not Shyness
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
DMTdreamz
I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes.
I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes.
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I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes.
I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes.
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CaaCatte
I have struggled with social anxiety for so long eversince i was a child, i was never a sociable person and when i was in elementary i keep changing schools. I had friends but mostly bcause theyre the ones who started talking first. I thought that I was just shy and that it would go away as I grew older. But now im 22, And ive just started college f2f and I have trouble making friends because everyone seemed to already had one while im pretty much alone. I tried to talk but words couldnt come out of my mouth, and when it did i just say one or two words. The worst thing about having social anxiety is that I fear everything. Im worried about how people see me. Im scared that if i dont talk i look mean. But if i talk they would think im too desperate. I sometimes overthink about everything i do for endless nights and sometimes cry about it because its just so frustating. Like I dont get how other people can just come up and talk to strangers without feeling anxious. I couldnt even make eye contact even if I tried to. I just realised tht my social anxiety happens when im in a school setting, or im forced to make friends and even on family events. I dont know how to help myself. Its mentally exausting that sometimes i wish i could just disappear so i dont have to face these feelings anymore.
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I have struggled with social anxiety for so long eversince i was a child, i was never a sociable person and when i was in elementary i keep changing schools. I had friends but mostly bcause theyre the ones who started talking first. I thought that I was just shy and that it would go away as I grew older. But now im 22, And ive just started college f2f and I have trouble making friends because everyone seemed to already had one while im pretty much alone. I tried to talk but words couldnt come out of my mouth, and when it did i just say one or two words. The worst thing about having social anxiety is that I fear everything. Im worried about how people see me. Im scared that if i dont talk i look mean. But if i talk they would think im too desperate. I sometimes overthink about everything i do for endless nights and sometimes cry about it because its just so frustating. Like I dont get how other people can just come up and talk to strangers without feeling anxious. I couldnt even make eye contact even if I tried to. I just realised tht my social anxiety happens when im in a school setting, or im forced to make friends and even on family events. I dont know how to help myself. Its mentally exausting that sometimes i wish i could just disappear so i dont have to face these feelings anymore.
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Yk
Well, 2-5-7 hit really on the spot for me, it seems
Being self-conscious happens whenever I have to speak my mind to someone and/or to a group as my brain and my words just go in a completely different way as I just overthink everything what could happen and what I want to avoid for being understood. Searching my word in the process: (
Anticipating works pretty much the same way, but with the feeling of an instant shock added to it, that makes me nervous the moment I know that I will have or need to speak. Heart beating in my ear, feeling weak in my limbs, and when the spotlight is on me for real, it's back to being self-conscions and overthinking it. Even if everything of my speech, down to the last bit, was clear, fluid, and totally fine in my head.
After that, it's the welcome of the aftermath overthinking where I smooth everything that happened with countless scenarios of what would have been ideal to get over it eventually.
But, man, this is a pain to deal with on the spot, especially when you think that what you want to bring to the table could be valuable to someone or a group.
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Well, 2-5-7 hit really on the spot for me, it seems
Being self-conscious happens whenever I have to speak my mind to someone and/or to a group as my brain and my words just go in a completely different way as I just overthink everything what could happen and what I want to avoid for being understood. Searching my word in the process: (
Anticipating works pretty much the same way, but with the feeling of an instant shock added to it, that makes me nervous the moment I know that I will have or need to speak. Heart beating in my ear, feeling weak in my limbs, and when the spotlight is on me for real, it's back to being self-conscions and overthinking it. Even if everything of my speech, down to the last bit, was clear, fluid, and totally fine in my head.
After that, it's the welcome of the aftermath overthinking where I smooth everything that happened with countless scenarios of what would have been ideal to get over it eventually.
But, man, this is a pain to deal with on the spot, especially when you think that what you want to bring to the table could be valuable to someone or a group.
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Alex
A large reason that I am socially anxious now is because sometimes when I went out of my way to be nice to people or help out, I immediately got shut down or yelled at. For example, a kid with ADHD at a summer program I went to was super into FNAF, so he taped a ton of drawings around the room and even made a paper puppet. One day he had a meltdown and destroyed everything he made, so the adults took him somewhere else to cool down. Being autistic, I understood and figured he would regret it later, so I gathered up all the trash and made some new ones and put them up. When he returned, he promptly destroyed my work, saying that he didn't want it up anymore. I ended up crying and having to be consoled by an adult. That and a lot of other small things that happened to me when I was little ended up traumatizing me a bit and left me a somewhat anxious teenager.
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A large reason that I am socially anxious now is because sometimes when I went out of my way to be nice to people or help out, I immediately got shut down or yelled at. For example, a kid with ADHD at a summer program I went to was super into FNAF, so he taped a ton of drawings around the room and even made a paper puppet. One day he had a meltdown and destroyed everything he made, so the adults took him somewhere else to cool down. Being autistic, I understood and figured he would regret it later, so I gathered up all the trash and made some new ones and put them up. When he returned, he promptly destroyed my work, saying that he didn't want it up anymore. I ended up crying and having to be consoled by an adult. That and a lot of other small things that happened to me when I was little ended up traumatizing me a bit and left me a somewhat anxious teenager.
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TaaliaPlays
i have social anxiety but i get paranoid im not valid so here are my symptoms
-i am very scared of being judged and it makes it hard to make friends and stuff
-i do have 1 or 2 friends that i mainly hangout with but i am very attatched to them and only talk to them because social anxiety
-i do wanna make friends, i love learning and participating! but i get prevented by thoughts of being judged and bullied and stuff
-i always get stomach aches from it, high heart rate, and very shaky and sweaty
-very observant of peoples voice tones, bidy language and words and get anxious and overthink everyone hates me
-i sometimes go mute
-i hate eye contact
-i practice talking in the mirror
-i get random panic attacks for no reason
btw i used to get bullied which caused it to happen
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i have social anxiety but i get paranoid im not valid so here are my symptoms
-i am very scared of being judged and it makes it hard to make friends and stuff
-i do have 1 or 2 friends that i mainly hangout with but i am very attatched to them and only talk to them because social anxiety
-i do wanna make friends, i love learning and participating! but i get prevented by thoughts of being judged and bullied and stuff
-i always get stomach aches from it, high heart rate, and very shaky and sweaty
-very observant of peoples voice tones, bidy language and words and get anxious and overthink everyone hates me
-i sometimes go mute
-i hate eye contact
-i practice talking in the mirror
-i get random panic attacks for no reason
btw i used to get bullied which caused it to happen
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Just
I thought shyness was being scared of social events and talking to people I've always felt that way ever since i was at the age of 7 or younger. I'm scared receiving parcels, I'm scared performing a presentation so badly, i hate being embarrassed, i hate embarrassment, i hate social events, i hate crowds, i hate being around so many people so bad. Every time when I'm alone and washing my body or jus literally having stomach problems inside the bathroom, I'd always have a random thought. It scares me, it's the thought of somebody was constantly watching me making it very hard for me to take care of my body not like I've not already been having problem with taking care of myself. I don't know what's wrong with me My friend says it's social anxiety but hell I'd never be one to self-diagnose myself.
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I thought shyness was being scared of social events and talking to people I've always felt that way ever since i was at the age of 7 or younger. I'm scared receiving parcels, I'm scared performing a presentation so badly, i hate being embarrassed, i hate embarrassment, i hate social events, i hate crowds, i hate being around so many people so bad. Every time when I'm alone and washing my body or jus literally having stomach problems inside the bathroom, I'd always have a random thought. It scares me, it's the thought of somebody was constantly watching me making it very hard for me to take care of my body not like I've not already been having problem with taking care of myself. I don't know what's wrong with me My friend says it's social anxiety but hell I'd never be one to self-diagnose myself.
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Alexis
Well this is how I feel with social anxiety so even time I walk by I feel like Im getting judge like what if I look dumb with the clothes that Im wearing or does my hair look weird and most of the time I feel like people in my school are saying why do I look like that? It is darker weird or something and I have friends but I feel like theyre fake because I can see that they have more fun with other people then me I dont know I mean Im happy that theyre having fun but it hurts and also every time i walk to school or go home I feel like Im being Watch or something I dont know but that what I feel and there this one time I want to participate so I put my hand up but then I felt self-conscious or something and I didnt know why I felt like that I mean no one was forcing me.
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Well this is how I feel with social anxiety so even time I walk by I feel like Im getting judge like what if I look dumb with the clothes that Im wearing or does my hair look weird and most of the time I feel like people in my school are saying why do I look like that? It is darker weird or something and I have friends but I feel like theyre fake because I can see that they have more fun with other people then me I dont know I mean Im happy that theyre having fun but it hurts and also every time i walk to school or go home I feel like Im being Watch or something I dont know but that what I feel and there this one time I want to participate so I put my hand up but then I felt self-conscious or something and I didnt know why I felt like that I mean no one was forcing me.
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Aoi
There was a big question in my head. I knew im not shy at the same time i didn't so afraid of social events thou i coud'nt get connect to others. Like i didn't have anything to tell and couldn't hold a conversation as well. that it lead me to avoid social places. then I figured out it's low social skills and like i read somewhere i didn't give my mind enough time to learn interaction with others. So here's what i did. I just participate in easy social events and simply i just fucosed on how other people talk. And after times i got better and better. Also i began to learn and use body language which is really helpful and important. But to be true I don't care about socializing yet but anyway i know I'll need it at least in future. (Hope you find your way too. Keep going
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There was a big question in my head. I knew im not shy at the same time i didn't so afraid of social events thou i coud'nt get connect to others. Like i didn't have anything to tell and couldn't hold a conversation as well. that it lead me to avoid social places. then I figured out it's low social skills and like i read somewhere i didn't give my mind enough time to learn interaction with others. So here's what i did. I just participate in easy social events and simply i just fucosed on how other people talk. And after times i got better and better. Also i began to learn and use body language which is really helpful and important. But to be true I don't care about socializing yet but anyway i know I'll need it at least in future. (Hope you find your way too. Keep going
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Elfie
This video was extremely helpful. I had been having panic attacks upon panic attacks. My parents were concerned about my mental health since I had been ignoring my teachers and I was pushing my closest friends away. I watched this video and rang up a specailist, I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety. So thank you in a way for helping me get the help i need. I'm now getting back to normal with my friends but I still freak out when I'm introduced to someone new. Unfortunately I lost most of my friends along the way but the ones that stayed were my true friends. Thank you again for helping understand myself and others! I greatly appreciated it
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This video was extremely helpful. I had been having panic attacks upon panic attacks. My parents were concerned about my mental health since I had been ignoring my teachers and I was pushing my closest friends away. I watched this video and rang up a specailist, I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety. So thank you in a way for helping me get the help i need. I'm now getting back to normal with my friends but I still freak out when I'm introduced to someone new. Unfortunately I lost most of my friends along the way but the ones that stayed were my true friends. Thank you again for helping understand myself and others! I greatly appreciated it
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Purpurpillars
Since I was a kid I was always happy and playful until I was around the age of 12 when I started to get bullied by a bunch of people I thought were my friend due to it I just shut myself down from everyone else. I only hung out with 3 or 4 people at my school and I felt depressed and terrible because I knew that there where people that I though were my friends make fun of me for my every move and breath. Im going into college and Im still like this. Ive wanted to seek out for help but Ive just never gotten around to because of the fear of being judged. Im stuck in my room, Im stuck.
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Since I was a kid I was always happy and playful until I was around the age of 12 when I started to get bullied by a bunch of people I thought were my friend due to it I just shut myself down from everyone else. I only hung out with 3 or 4 people at my school and I felt depressed and terrible because I knew that there where people that I though were my friends make fun of me for my every move and breath. Im going into college and Im still like this. Ive wanted to seek out for help but Ive just never gotten around to because of the fear of being judged. Im stuck in my room, Im stuck.
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Birdie
One time this Christmas, actually. I was over at my moms place with dozens of family members and my moms house is very tiny, and after playing a game with the whole group and winning prizes I started to panic and sweat started forming in my hands and almost my fore head and I was trembling. I started tearing up and I couldnt leave yet since I was waiting for my brother. But I broke down the moment I stepped out the door and me and my brother left minutes later and I did not go back the next time they were having another meet up. Im fine now though.
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One time this Christmas, actually. I was over at my moms place with dozens of family members and my moms house is very tiny, and after playing a game with the whole group and winning prizes I started to panic and sweat started forming in my hands and almost my fore head and I was trembling. I started tearing up and I couldnt leave yet since I was waiting for my brother. But I broke down the moment I stepped out the door and me and my brother left minutes later and I did not go back the next time they were having another meet up. Im fine now though.
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Chickennuggetpaw
I both relate to, and am jealous of people that are just shy. I really wish I was just kind of shy and bashful around people, in a mild and charming way, and not my usual extremely nervous, too-quiet, too-rigid self. I think people can tell that Im not like them, that Im not as socially developed as they are, and so they just ignore me. If I was shy, they would just think oh shes just shy! I should keep talking to her to break the ice.
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I both relate to, and am jealous of people that are just shy. I really wish I was just kind of shy and bashful around people, in a mild and charming way, and not my usual extremely nervous, too-quiet, too-rigid self. I think people can tell that Im not like them, that Im not as socially developed as they are, and so they just ignore me. If I was shy, they would just think oh shes just shy! I should keep talking to her to break the ice.
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Chris
I remember in my Freshman year of high school I had a pseudo-health class that also dealt with topics like shyness, social skills, etc. One day our assignment was to write down who our friends in the class were, then the teacher paired us with people we didnt know to make conversation for one minute. There were twenty two people not including me, and that was the most agonizing twenty two minutes of my life.
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I remember in my Freshman year of high school I had a pseudo-health class that also dealt with topics like shyness, social skills, etc. One day our assignment was to write down who our friends in the class were, then the teacher paired us with people we didnt know to make conversation for one minute. There were twenty two people not including me, and that was the most agonizing twenty two minutes of my life.
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Alpha
i have been suffering with it since 2012. I used to be a bouncer years before and could easily work in a crowded nightclub, I cant do that anymore. Social anxiety used to be crippling for me, but i have it mainly under control now, however attacks can come out of nowhere when i least expect it. I now try to work in isolated locations as a night security officer where i am on my own and away from people
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i have been suffering with it since 2012. I used to be a bouncer years before and could easily work in a crowded nightclub, I cant do that anymore. Social anxiety used to be crippling for me, but i have it mainly under control now, however attacks can come out of nowhere when i least expect it. I now try to work in isolated locations as a night security officer where i am on my own and away from people
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its
I love talking and meeting people (and always have, but Im wondering If I have/had social anxiety lol. I moved to a different state before 2nd grade and put on some weight for no real reason between 2nd and 3rd grade. I also started throwing up every Sunday night before school, but the thing is I didnt feel nervous, I liked to go to school at the time lol. I guess Im just confused on why I did that: /
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I love talking and meeting people (and always have, but Im wondering If I have/had social anxiety lol. I moved to a different state before 2nd grade and put on some weight for no real reason between 2nd and 3rd grade. I also started throwing up every Sunday night before school, but the thing is I didnt feel nervous, I liked to go to school at the time lol. I guess Im just confused on why I did that: /
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Mama
I thought I was just introverted and shy. I mean do u blame me? I got two reasons.
1, I'm the only black person in my school so obv eyes on me and I stand out.
2, reason I prob developed this was when I was In 5th grade, the grade I got bullied at the end of the year. And after that I don't even go to school bc the racism I experience
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I thought I was just introverted and shy. I mean do u blame me? I got two reasons.
1, I'm the only black person in my school so obv eyes on me and I stand out.
2, reason I prob developed this was when I was In 5th grade, the grade I got bullied at the end of the year. And after that I don't even go to school bc the racism I experience
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MARK
I avoid public setting and gathering. But when I speak to random people I sometimes stutter and I always thinking of what will I answer them. Is this social anxiety. And I feel anxious when I am being judged. I hate it. Overthinking, and a loooott of things stucked in my head that I can barely say to anyone. Also they say I'm soft spoken.
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I avoid public setting and gathering. But when I speak to random people I sometimes stutter and I always thinking of what will I answer them. Is this social anxiety. And I feel anxious when I am being judged. I hate it. Overthinking, and a loooott of things stucked in my head that I can barely say to anyone. Also they say I'm soft spoken.
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Rachel
Me literally almost got hit by a motorcycle many times and only felt embarrassed like everyone was looking at me and i keep thinking that they thinking im already old enough and i can't cross a road properly and i keep walking fast because people keep staring and when i get back home i overthink all day and cant get over it for decades
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Me literally almost got hit by a motorcycle many times and only felt embarrassed like everyone was looking at me and i keep thinking that they thinking im already old enough and i can't cross a road properly and i keep walking fast because people keep staring and when i get back home i overthink all day and cant get over it for decades
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KingBoo
I'm writing this for myself(KEEP SCROLLING)
Avoid them
Trust nobody
They can't judge you if you are the Blank person
These 3 are one of the rules in our book you know i promised Mom we would change and we're trying aren't we, sorry we need to break Our promise.
I'm sorry Anyonn
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I'm writing this for myself(KEEP SCROLLING)
Avoid them
Trust nobody
They can't judge you if you are the Blank person
These 3 are one of the rules in our book you know i promised Mom we would change and we're trying aren't we, sorry we need to break Our promise.
I'm sorry Anyonn
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Samdal
I still get extremly fricking panicked when I walk into a room with classmates and friends I've known for 7 years to the point of running to hide in the bathroom and crying, yet I still try to convince myself that it's just shynes because that's what my parents say I wish I had therapy
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I still get extremly fricking panicked when I walk into a room with classmates and friends I've known for 7 years to the point of running to hide in the bathroom and crying, yet I still try to convince myself that it's just shynes because that's what my parents say I wish I had therapy
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Dkunhyueni
Ive had social anxiety after being bullied. And i didnt realise I had it until i found out i was sweating (so much Until my sweater would soak through past my hands), blushing, Talking really mumbly. I would usually laugh it off in front of people, but i was clearly evidently dying
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Ive had social anxiety after being bullied. And i didnt realise I had it until i found out i was sweating (so much Until my sweater would soak through past my hands), blushing, Talking really mumbly. I would usually laugh it off in front of people, but i was clearly evidently dying
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Yes
5: 13 this is how I pretty much developed social anxiety, when I was talking to my friend he mentioned my other friend knowns my secret and he may tell everyone and when I leave I was laughed at and I got social anxiety as nkw everywhere I go I think people are judging me, in some way
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5: 13 this is how I pretty much developed social anxiety, when I was talking to my friend he mentioned my other friend knowns my secret and he may tell everyone and when I leave I was laughed at and I got social anxiety as nkw everywhere I go I think people are judging me, in some way
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Immortal_Remi
I don't have a therapist so I cant get diagnosed, but I've done so much research about social anxiety and every symptom sounds normal to me. Of course I don't know for sure until I get diagnosed, so do you guys have any advice to convince my parents to get me a therapist?
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I don't have a therapist so I cant get diagnosed, but I've done so much research about social anxiety and every symptom sounds normal to me. Of course I don't know for sure until I get diagnosed, so do you guys have any advice to convince my parents to get me a therapist?
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kei
I think I have social anxiety but I am not sure.
I often feel like when I try to join a friend group like that everyone looks at me weirdly and I wanna leave- I also think I was acting so weird. Bet they didn't like me or something very often. Does anybody feel the same?
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I think I have social anxiety but I am not sure.
I often feel like when I try to join a friend group like that everyone looks at me weirdly and I wanna leave- I also think I was acting so weird. Bet they didn't like me or something very often. Does anybody feel the same?
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Oaklynn
Im pretty sure I got Social anxiety about the age of 10 / 9.
I worry a lot about going to crowded places, mostly because Im afraid of the embarrassment of seeing someone I know-
And Im known as the shy girl who barely talks to anyone because I just dont speak.
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Im pretty sure I got Social anxiety about the age of 10 / 9.
I worry a lot about going to crowded places, mostly because Im afraid of the embarrassment of seeing someone I know-
And Im known as the shy girl who barely talks to anyone because I just dont speak.
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